Updated: Oct 10, 2021
by Elizabeth Godinho, MSW Intern
What do love and a Spanish guitar have in common? They are both forms of communicating with our loved ones how much we care about them.
As we celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month, we can reflect on the language and culture that it brings. Spanish is one of the world's most widely spoken languages. In fact, it is “one of the most romantic languages because of its passionate, emotive sound.” Have you ever listened to a Spanish song, and even if you do not understand the lyrics, it makes you want to dance? This is because the pitch, rhythm and tempo are communicating signals to your body. It does not matter what language you speak. Music is universal. Similarly, there are universal languages we use to communicate love, called the Five Love Languages.
According to Dr. Chapman, there are five primary love languages that people speak:
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Words of Affirmation:
People can use words of affirmation as a part of their love language. This includes telling someone supportive, uplifting and empathic statements. Some examples of this include: “I love you.” “I am grateful to have you in my life” “I think you are amazing at ____.” “One of the things I love about you is____.” “You are such a hard worker.” “Thank you for making me feel safe.”
Giving gifts is a love language. These are visual ways of showing your loved one that you are thinking about them. It does not have to be pricey. This can include packing their favorite candy bar in their lunch bag, getting flowers or buying something they have had on their wish list.
Acts of Service:
This language includes doing small and big actions of love. Some examples of these can be making our partner coffee early in the morning, completing chores around the house or caring for them when they are sick.
Sharing our time with someone shows how important they are to us. It is not only about spending time with someone. It also involves giving them our attention. When you are together it is important to face each other, maintain eye contact and put any other distractions away.
We can communicate how we feel about someone with physical affections. This includes holding hands, kissing, hugging, giving a shoulder or foot massage, cuddling and sex.
Now, which category does music fall under? None, because it is its own category!
Music is a love language. We can sing their favorite song, learn how to play an instrument and play for them, dedicate a new song to them, create a specialized playlist for them, buy a CD/album that they have been wanting or dance in the kitchen to your wedding song!
As we have read in this blog, there are many ways to communicate love. We can start by picking one and allowing our love to grow from there.
If you or a loved one would like to dig deeper into your Love Languages, or improve your communication about love and affection, contact us today to set up an appointment for couples counseling!