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How to be With a Partner who is Asexual

By Hannah Slattery, LPC, NCC

If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who defines as asexual there are things you and your partner can work on together. When your partner is asexual, it doesn’t mean the relationship can’t work, it just means there might be more learning for both of you. 

Sex, Sexuality, Sexual Orientation: What’s the difference?

To begin, let us become a little more familiarized with the basic differences between sex, sexuality, and sexual orientation. In general terms, “sex” refers to the biological differences between males and females, such as the genitalia and genetic differences. Sexuality is an important part of who we are as humans. Beyond the ability to reproduce, sexuality also defines how we see ourselves and how we physically relate to others. Sexual orientation is a term used to refer to a person's pattern of emotional, romantic, and sexual attraction to people of a particular gender (male or female). Sexual orientation is usually divided into these categories:

  • Heterosexual: Attracted to people of the opposite sex

  • Bisexual: Attracted to people of either sex

  • Homosexual: Attracted to people of one's own sex

  • Pansexual: Attracted to people of any gender identity

  • Asexual: Not sexually attracted to other people

To be clear, sexual orientation is not a choice, it is how we are born, just like the color