Updated: Jan 17
Alright, who here is struggling to get their kids to listen, follow through on chores, and overall respect you (parents)? Who’s said to themselves, their partner, other parents, what happened to these kids, why don’t they listen like we use to? First things first, we need to take a look at how we as parents and more importantly husband and wife have changed. Wives are no longer submissive and work inside the home to cater to the husband. This huge shift to equal independence, although empowering, catered towards a different view on parents. Kids saw mom respect and never question dad which meant dad had full authority over the home. When that changed, progress began. Now as we all know progress can be messy and without a guidebook on life, things got a little out of hand. As a whole, we are improving the dynamic between men and women, increasing equality within all minorities, this is a movement and this is important. Children are also a part of this
movement, meaning that equality is also desirable for our kids. Now equality does not mean we are the same. Adult guidance is crucial for the appropriate development of our kids so what we need to do as parents is to guide and teach them appropriately. Positive Discipline wants our children to develop life skills in an atmosphere that is kind and firm without blame, shame, and pain.
In addition, our children are being held back due to having fewer chances to be responsible or motivated. We no longer need children to be a part of our economic growth. This has led to low effort or contribution on their part. Some parents believe that they need to protect their children from disappointment, rescuing their children from necessary learning experiences. Our goal is to increase our children’s feelings of belonging and significance by teaching them how to contribute to the household, the classroom, the workforce, etc.
When we train or teach instead of punishing, we help build their dignity, respect, and kindness towards themself and others. Our children learn to rebel, feel insignificant, manipulate or avoid to get what they want, to feel important. It’s time for a change. A child will start to feel empowered in healthier ways when they learn with and from their parent’s crucial life skills to carry them through the rest of their lives.
To sum all of this up is slightly difficult but the main idea is that control is no longer effective, blind respect will no longer be valuable to your family. Jane Nelson said it perfectly in her
Positive Discipline book, “ we need to understand that cooperation based on mutual respectand shared responsibility is more effective than authoritarian control”.
Now, what does all of this mean for you as parents? It represents the end of an era that is
damaging the relationship you have with yourself and your child. Stay tuned for more blogs about Positive Parenting and how you can implement this strategy at home.
If you or a loved one could use support as a parent, please contact us today to set up an appointment.