Considering Mediation? A Helpful Path Through Divorce.
- Kate Fish
- Apr 30
- 3 min read
Navigating a divorce is a significant life event with several, sometimes complicated, options for a couple to utilize. While the legal steps to the dissolution of marriage are essential, there's a valuable tool that can make the journey smoother and more collaborative: mediation. Let's explore how using a mediator can guide you through the divorce process and why it's often a preferred option, especially when you're co-parenting.
What is Divorce Mediation?
In divorce mediation, you and your spouse work with a neutral third party, the mediator, to discuss and try to resolve the issues in your divorce. The mediator doesn't take sides or make decisions for you; instead, they facilitate communication and help you find mutually agreeable solutions for things like parenting plans, property division, and support.
Why Choose Mediation for Your Divorce?
Using a mediator offers several key advantages, particularly when children are part of the equation:
Empowering You to Decide: Mediation keeps the decision-making power in your hands, rather than leaving it up to a judge. You and your partner have more control over the outcome and can craft solutions that best fit your family's unique needs.
Focusing on Your Children: Mediators are often skilled at helping parents prioritize their children's well-being. They can guide discussions to create parenting plans that promote stability and cooperation between both parents.
Potentially Faster and Less Expensive: Compared to lengthy court battles, mediation saves approximately 85% when compared to arbitration or attorney-led divorce.
Improving Communication: Mediation provides a structured and supportive environment for communication. A skilled mediator can help you and your partner constructively discuss difficult topics, which can be beneficial for your future co-parenting relationship.
The Court May Suggest It: Even if you don't start with mediation, the judge at your first court date might order you and your spouse to attend mediation to try and reach an agreement. This shows how valuable the court system sees this process.
Reaching Comprehensive Agreements: Mediation can help you and your spouse agree on all the necessary aspects of your divorce, potentially leading to a "prove-up," a final hearing where your agreement is presented to the judge for approval.
Integrating Mediation into the Divorce Steps
While the official guide outlines the legal steps, consider how mediation can play a role within that framework:
Starting the Process: You can initiate mediation either before filing the initial forms (Petition for Divorce and Certificate of Dissolution of Marriage/Civil Union) or anytime after. In the state of Illinois, there is no requirement to file for divorce first.
Notifying Your Spouse: Once your spouse is aware of the divorce proceedings, you can both agree to participate in mediation. This is a great time to call for a free 30 minute consultation to discuss scheduling, fees, and to determine if the mediator is a good fit for your needs.
The Mediation Process: You will sign a form called Agreement to Mediate which allows you and the mediator to discuss the upcoming mediation sessions in detail. You will bring all of your relevant and important documents (tax forms, deeds, issues identification form) to your first mediation session. You can anticipate being in mediation for up to 2 hours at a time. On average, mediated divorces take approximately 3-5 sessions to reach agreement.
Court Dates and Preparation: If you haven't reached a full agreement through mediation before your first court date, inform the judge about your progress or willingness to mediate. As mentioned, the judge may even order mediation at this point. Mediation sessions can occur while you are waiting for court dates.
Finalizing the Divorce: If you successfully reach an agreement on all issues through mediation, the final step becomes a "prove-up" where you present your agreed-upon Parenting Plan and Judgment for Dissolution of Marriage/Civil Union to the judge for approval. If parties cannot reach a settlement agreement, the case will proceed in court and an attorney will be needed.
Embracing a collaborative approach like mediation can truly make a difference in navigating divorce, especially for your children. Remember that resources like Illinois Legal Aid Online and Illinois Court Help can provide valuable information about mediation services and other support options in your area.
Where can I get the forms?
You can find the forms here: https://www.illinoiscourts.gov/documents-and-forms/approved-forms/
Your courthouse may have self-help resources that can assist you with information and filling out the forms.
Choosing mediation can be a positive step towards resolving your divorce with more control, less conflict, and a greater focus on the well-being of your children.
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